THE MILLSTONE - WHERE DO WE START??

I guess the answer to the question above is - nowhere! We turned up quite prepared to play, but ran into a little bit of landlord trouble! Now, having consulted libel lawyers, I have to be very careful what I write here, so let me try and summarise the situation by asking you all a series of multiple choice questions - which, when you have answered them, might help you to understand the frustration we felt last night!

Question 1: If you were to contact a band and agree a date for said band to play (presumably having written it in your diary with a contact name and number) would you:
a) expect the band to turn up on the agreed date and play a gig
b) expect the band to be really unsure whether the gig was going to go ahead, and continually contact you to check that the agreed date was still valid
c) assume that the band were not going to appear

Question 2: If you wanted posters or flyers advertising the band would you:
a) contact the band and ask them to send you some
b) assume the band are psychic, realise that you don't publicise the entertainment you are providing, and send you publicity material to save you looking completely inept
c) rely on the spooky vibes that pervade Macclesfield to draw everyone to your pub when the mighty D&C are due to play

Question 3: If you "lost" the contact number for the band (i.e. the one you used to get in touch with them in the first place) would you:
a) Google "Dazed and Confused" to see if there was a website through which you could contact the band.
b) Go next door to the Nag's Head (where the band have played twice) to get a contact number.
c) Sit on your arse until the band turns up and then say "we didn't think you were coming"

Question 4: If the band turned up anyway (even though you assumed they weren't coming, although you had booked them in and they hadn't said they weren't) and said they were prepared to play, would you:
a) say "No, there is no point, because there will be nobody in" (!)
b) take a punt and say "OK, but if nobody comes in, you won't get paid"
c) say "What's the point, nobody likes you anyway!"

You might have gathered by now that last night's gig didn't happen - the answers to the above questions used by mein host at the Millstone were:

Question 1: c (surely when you book somebody you assume they will turn up?)
Question 2: b - "why would we ask for publicity material, bands just send it to us?" - excuse me, the Nag's Head (next door!) publicise all their bands on a board outside and ask for posters - how amateurish!
Question 3: c (even more bizarre as they contacted us in the first place - presumably they got our number from somewhere then?)
Question 4: a - I'm speechless - especially as we had people coming from all over to see us! In fact Kip at The Baths Hotel told me today that he was extremely grateful to us for not playing as he had a pub full of people who went there when they found out we were not on at the The Millstone!

So -we had a quiet night! We did attempt to find another gig - The Ship were reluctant to evict the band that were booked at short notice (poor form, I thought!) and we decided that hawking ourselves around other venues, like cheap whores, at 7:30pm on a Saturday night would not do our street cred any good at all, so we went home! I can only apologise to everyone who was coming to see us - Dominic and Keda came all the way from Chester (and Surrey actually!) to see us, and went away disappointed! Matt said he had 20 or 30 people coming, and I know that even people who yearned to be there, but couldn't, were ticked off that we didn't play! One thing that is sure is that the Dazed & Confused Massive (check out Facebook!) will be giving The Millstone a wide berth in future!

Onwards and upwards! Next official gig is on 15 October, but we will try and slip something in earlier - in fact, we're doing one of those "secret" gigs this Thursday - can't publicise it because the venue would be overcrowded!

In the interest of trying to remain positive in the face of adversity, the only other things I will say in this posting are:

1. The rest of the weekend was surprisingly good (nice weather and everything)!
2. City were robbed! Just explain to me how a team can score a goal after 95 minutes and 27 seconds when there is only 4 minutes added time????

CARRIED AWAY BY PORTERS!!

The summer certainly dragged - must have been those long hot evenings, you remember them! Anyway, that's all behind us now, and the first gig of the Autumn term took place last Saturday in Porter's Ale House (aka The Prince of Wales) on Roe Street in Macclesfield. This fine hostelry was taken over recently by Michelle (aka Sue!) and John, and our appearance was their first foray into real live music - a tactic that could be interpreted as a master stroke or gross folly, depending on which way you look at it!

We haven't played for nearly 8 weeks, as anyone listening to our practice on Thursday night would have easily guessed, so we were a little concerned about how things would go! It put me a bit in mind of the Morecambe & Wise sketch with Andre Previn - we knew we could play all the notes, but not necessarily in the right order! Add to that the fact that Paul & Chrissie have trouble remembering the lyrics to some of the songs at the best of times, and things could really have gone mammus verticus if we hadn't been careful!

There were only 5 of us on Saturday as, guess what - yep, Dave was on holiday! He was floating around in a becalmed sort of way, in the Irish Sea when we took the stage, and it was probably just as well because if he had been there, one of us would have had to sit on Hugh's knee (not a pleasant thought for either party!) or suspend themself from the ceiling - space was at a premium!

Notwithstanding all these potential banana skins, and buoyed by Manchester City's great win against Arsenal, we went for it with our usual vim and vigour (what a quaint little phrase that is!). The pub was packed, and amongst the familiar faces, there were Terry & Lenny whose wedding we are playing in October (think they wanted to make sure we were still alive!), and we were also being checked out by another gentleman who has booked us for a 40th birthday party also in October - although this particular party is for an organisation, not a person (which is a first for us!)! Added to this were Stella and Andy, who must now hold the record for D&C followers as they came all the way from Doncaster just to see us - we really appreciate it, especially as Andy helped to pack up the gear on Sunday morning!!

The gig seemed to go well - everyone was up and bopping, and Michelle has even asked us to come back and play on the Saturday before Christmas, which should be a riot (not literally, of course)!

Now we've got the taste for it, we're going to go out again next Saturday - to The Millstone at Water's Green! This will be another first for us and, assuming that Dave has managed to catch a bit of wind (never usually a problem for him!) and Chrissie has not drunk herself to oblivion in Puerto Banus (keep her in check, Pete!) we should have a full complement - so get yourselves down there for another night of fun and frivolity - as ever we'd be delighted to see you!